a day

Okay so i just watched "Julie and Julia" movie today. it was a nice lil story about a wife and her adventures with cooking all of Julia Child receipts. i watched this because watched another movie "doubt" Meryl Streep and Amy Adams were in both and i wanted to see the different faces of the two actors in 2 very different roles and settings. both were good in their own way as were the characters. i've actually became a fan of of both actors i must say, and am now looking through net flix trailer about these two. back to "JnJ" this movie got me thinking about not food, like i thought it would, but about opening a blog and writing within it. in the movie julia gives herself specific goals and a year to complete them, but i just want to come on here to voice my thoughts some outside of my head. maybe this is good. i get all these thought and stuff just cluttered within my head and it kinda driving me crazy...insomniac. a major one for example, emotional attachment.
emotional attachment something that i wish i could just throw out the window. be like every other guy that i see around...to a certain point at least. i can't stand that one conversation or one kiss at a bar, or something, can have me thinking about that girl for days or weeks on end. where for that such person it was just a conversation/kiss for the moment and nothing more. this perspective of myself makes me feel such a range of emotions. i go from hopeful for more. not sex, at least not right away, lol, i hope for more as in a possible more personal relationship. 99 out 100 that is, nothing comes from it more than just that one conver/kiss. Most of the time i end up trying to see if anything may come and it frustrates me. it make me either look like an ass or every worst a creeper, at least i think so and really hope that i am mistaken. it makes me feel very desperate. which turns me sad, makes me lonely. longer relationships leave longer impressions also.
sad thing is this is just one of the topics i think about on a daily bases. add in friends, family, jobs, society and politics and where i stand with all these makes for one rather large bowl of chunky soup that is my brain of thoughts and emotions to those thoughts...not fun. more to come i guess. if anyone actual reads this comments or not well good. maybe it will leave another impression of me, or may help you in some way. i hope its not just a total waste of time. if not well i'm no worst off then before. yes i know this is depressing and maybe is depression, but i don't want to complain to much, but this may be an outlet to do such things. there are always people who are going to be better off and there are always going to be people worst off than me. this i know. i just wish i didn't see the better off ones and compare myself more so to them. more to come, like i said.
So lets give this whole blogging a chance and see what if anything comes from this. it may only help me with my typing but i guess i will not know if it isn't tried at least.